IT IS THE war that started one of the biggest feuds of 1989.  It is a situation that started several of television's most bizarre incidents.  It is a battle that continues hotter than ever-in arenas and rings across the country.  Whatever you do, don't put Roddy Piper in the same state with Bobby Heenan.   Once these men get within shouting distance, they'll start hurling insults at each other.  Judge for yourself from these zingers culled from USA network's Prime Time Wrestling, the program that these two men co-hosted until this past Christmas:

Piper: "Boobsie, you lie so much, you've got warts on the end of your tongue."

Heenan: "Say what you want, Piper, but you'll never get past my Family. How can I take a guy seriously who wears a skirt?"

Piper: "That's some 'Family' that Boobsie's got. You know what you do with a family like?  You get 'em fixed!"

For months, Roddy Piper and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan engaged in a non-stop insult war on the set of Prime Time Wrestling a war that shows no signs of abating. Who's winning this all-out battle of the barbs?  Make your voice heard by casting your ballot today! 

This is typical banter between Heenan and Piper, but now this war of words has gotten a bit out of hand. It was clear to anyone who watched PTW that these were two men who could never get along no matter how hard they tried. Heenan is committed to rule-breaking, while Piper's main intention in returning to the WWF has been to drive men like Heenan out of the sport forever.

This verbal feud began in July of last year, when PTW host Gorilla Monsoon believed he was finally getting rid of the acerbic Heenan as hit co-host after more than two years of on-air rancor.  Piper was named the new co-host of the show and everyone got along fine-until Heenan started insulting Piper from the program's second studio. On a broadcast during the summer, Heenan brought Rick Rude along to the set.

It was the worst thing that could have happened. As the insults and rhetoric intensified, Piper and Rude became more and more heated. Eventually, they had to be pulled apart by technicians and cameramen.  It was the beginning of a war between the two grapplers that continues unabated in arenas throughout the country to this day.

But the bad feelings between Piper and Heenan continued.  Week after week, the pair insulted each other in front of millions of TV viewers.  Heenan continually insulted Piper's manhood because he wears a kilt.  Piper called Heenan "Boobsy," which fans were quick to pick up on.  Piper searched for ways to get under Heenan's skin. In November, the "Rowdy Scot" decided to pull a prank on Brother Love, the quasi-religious WWF interviewer who has received numerous cash payments from Heenan for a reason that isn't clear to anybody.  Before a taping of Superstars Wrestling, Piper "abducted" Love, made him strip down to his underwear and put a huge diaper on him.  When he forced him into the arena, Piper did much more than humiliate Love-he embarrassed Heenan as well.  But the most notable incident of the Piper-Heenan war of words came on the Christmas broadcast of Prime Time Wrestling.  Heenan came to the set dressed like Santa Claus, and actually began the program with a benevolent attitude.  But when he looked into the camera and claimed there was no Santa Claus a potentially damaging remark to make in front of millions of young viewers-Piper lost control.  He stormed the set and attacked Heenan, beating the manager nearly senseless until he again had to be restrained by television crewmen.

This time, the producers of the the program believed that Piper had gone too far.  He was immediately banned from the show, and many believed that the Piper-Heenan verbal feud had finally ended. But at arenas around the country Piper continued to razz Heenan before his matches against Rude. It appears that even without the televised forum for repartee, this scathing battle of words continues.

But who is winning?

"Are you kidding?" asked Ed Menning of Alanta, a voracious wrestling fan who attended a recent WWF card at The Omni.  "Piper wins this duel hands down.  Heenan tries as hard as he can to put the bad-mouth on Piper, but Roddy always come back with some of the funniest one-liners I've heard outside of Rodney Dangerfield.  There's just no contest."

"You must be crazy!" exclaimed Bert Thompson, who was seated beside Menning. "Heenan may not be as funny as Piper is, but Heenan is the only guy in the sport who can really get under Piper's skin.  Piper attacked people twice on Prime Time, and it was Heenan who manipulated him to do it both times.  Piper thinks he's smarter, but Heenan knows exactly what he's doing. I can see why they call him "The Brain.'"

Fans around the country have been arguing over the Heenan-Piper feud for months, but now we're going to put an end to the debate once and for all.  We're going readers of The Wrestler an opportunity to decide who is winning this unique war of words.  To be included in the final vote count, your response must be postmarked by March 1, 1990; the results of our tabulations will be printed in the June 1990 issue, which is scheduled to arrive on newsstands April 17.

Piper and Heenan are likely to continue chasing each other through WWF arenas, but you can be the deciding factor in determining who the most outspoken man in the federation is.  Just use the handy coupon provided-and mail in your choice today.